Just Stay Home
From Mizahar Lore
| Book Travel account | |
| Full title | Just Stay Home: A Travel Journal |
|---|---|
| Author | Tenrir Brockis |
| Year published | 461 AV (62 years ago) |
| Average cost | 10 Mizas |
| Language | Common |
Just Stay Home: A Travel Journal is a more recent tome that has grown popular among travelers who really want to know what they are getting themselves into. The book was originally the journal of Tenrir Brockis, a young apprentice to a traveling merchant, not intended for a larger audience than the author.
While being dragged around the empire in the pursuit of the perfect customer and products, Tenrir, a young human, was able to make an entertaining and very frank sketch of Mizahar and its inhabitants. More traditional circles shun the book as a piecemeal and unsophisticated viewpoint liberally scattered with lies, while others insist it is the only guide worth having.
SELECTIONS FROM THE BOOK
Please note, this is a work in progress.
Excerpts On The Sylira Region
Day 20: Mura
Have met the local color, or lack thereof considering how pale they are. They look at me meaningfully with very large, moist eyes and tend to shake with both hands in an unnervingly empathetic way. I asked a Konti for directions to the Opal Temple and she told me 'You shall die a messy death involving a bar of lye soap and a weasel... Ten chimes south from here.' Right then, kill all weasels on sight. Or stop bathing.
Excerpts On The Cyphrus Region
Day 60: Have been in mad pursuit of Endrykas. Our guide maintains he is using his superior sense of hearing to find the traveling city when he presses his ear to the ground. I say horse shyke, literally. I swear he's just following the discrete piles of it to find Endrykas.
Excerpts On The Eyktol Region
Day 75: Have arrived at Eyktol's desert proper after going south through the redstone formation. My employer seems in good spirits and keeps talking about the value and artistry of Chaktawe pottery. I, however, am discovering the sand's complete disregard for privacy. Frankly, my ass is chafing. Also, the caravan guards have been eyeing me in a most disconcerting way. I suspect they have already decided I will be the first casualty should we run out of food in the middle of this desert. In a way, though, it's pretty out here. The sky is a perfect blue, the stacked redstones are a sight and the sand stretches on forever, like a golden sea. One feels a little extra spiritual out here, all the space and quiet makes me remember how small we are.
Day 80: I take it all back. This place is wretched.
Day 82: The camels are now eyeing me in a most disconcerting way as well. I'm on to you, camels.
Excerpts on the Falyndar Region
Day 120: We land in south Falyndar, met by a male Myrian guide. His vocabulary is limited and he flinches near any females in our party. It appears the dynamic of the sexes is less then healthy in his culture.
Day 122: Today I encountered a beetle large as my hand and colored the most brilliant blue. I excitedly showed this miracle of nature to our Myrian guide, who promptly picked it up and bit into it. He grinned at me in thanks, like I had given him a fruit basket. Bits of the beetle's legs were still in his teeth.